Wednesday, August 29, 2012

120829

Hey guys. I'm sorry for not blogging about what I should - meaning I have 3 blogs I'm fairly done with but, just need to fill it out completely. But, lately I've been feeling really down. I thought school would have been good for me; which it is, don't get it all wrong (which you probably won't). I do enjoy the school but, I find it somewhat difficult to focus, the Danish is hard, so many words I feel like I'm already falling back even though I' ve only attended 1 session of each. Today my History EXOOOOO class was canceled and tomorrow I have a long day till 7PM (from 8AM-7PM) and yesterday I had classes from 8AM-8:50PM I ended up home at around 10:30PM.

I'm starting to show signs of depression, it's weird for me. I've had depression before but, I never thought I would get again and defiantly not over something as pity as this. But, my doctor is warning me about it, but it's sort of a winter depression though in a totally different manner. I talked to her about it and what might be the causes but, in the end it's all rooted in, here. As in where I am. Denmark. I just can't adjust to the idea of being here, not anymore. For me it's just not home. I might have had hard times in Thailand, whenever which ever I go there, of course there would be its problems but, that's what it is. But, Denmark just isn't a part of me, as I thought, yes I may be 50% Danish, but, I can't embrace that anymore it's like it got killed. 

Not literally, of course it can't be killed, since it's a part of my being, my flesh and DNA but, as much as it is apart of me; just as much I hate it. I've had identity crisis for some years now so I guess being in the country of my home being, Thailand, it caused a riot within me seeing how it wouldn't last, not for as long as I wanted. My doctor says it is a uncommon thing for her to hear about and she can't relate to it.

I don't expect any to do so. It's just how I am feeling being a mixed race of 2 vividly different cultures and people living in them.

I was going to blog about my August Beauty haul (<- link to the YT video), but, as I feel and am right now it just seems like it won't be that possible to do. I did make a video (vlog-ish) of it, where I'm more of a blinded deer and not really sure what I'm saying, derping and even doing with the beauty products.

I'll update soon, as soon as I can. Wait for me okay?

Thanks for reading<3




4 comments:

  1. -hug- c: cheer up dacky! i'll always be here to cheer you up too :P. ANONYMOUS. uscared.

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  2. Feel better hun! Depression is a constant struggle, keep fighting !! I believe in you. :) Keep that head up and I hope things will be better for you soon!

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    1. Thank you dear! I'm working on it now, trying to build some courage up to put up an entry about the things and everything but, still very wavy..

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