I'm starting to show signs of depression, it's weird for me. I've had depression before but, I never thought I would get again and defiantly not over something as pity as this. But, my doctor is warning me about it, but it's sort of a winter depression though in a totally different manner. I talked to her about it and what might be the causes but, in the end it's all rooted in, here. As in where I am. Denmark. I just can't adjust to the idea of being here, not anymore. For me it's just not home. I might have had hard times in Thailand, whenever which ever I go there, of course there would be its problems but, that's what it is. But, Denmark just isn't a part of me, as I thought, yes I may be 50% Danish, but, I can't embrace that anymore it's like it got killed.
Not literally, of course it can't be killed, since it's a part of my being, my flesh and DNA but, as much as it is apart of me; just as much I hate it. I've had identity crisis for some years now so I guess being in the country of my home being, Thailand, it caused a riot within me seeing how it wouldn't last, not for as long as I wanted. My doctor says it is a uncommon thing for her to hear about and she can't relate to it.
I don't expect any to do so. It's just how I am feeling being a mixed race of 2 vividly different cultures and people living in them.
I was going to blog about my August Beauty haul (<- link to the YT video), but, as I feel and am right now it just seems like it won't be that possible to do. I did make a video (vlog-ish) of it, where I'm more of a blinded deer and not really sure what I'm saying, derping and even doing with the beauty products.
I'll update soon, as soon as I can. Wait for me okay?
Thanks for reading<3