Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Hey guys. I'm sorry for not blogging about what I should - meaning I have 3 blogs I'm fairly done with but, just need to fill it out completely. But, lately I've been feeling really down. I thought school would have been good for me; which it is, don't get it all wrong (which you probably won't). I do enjoy the school but, I find it somewhat difficult to focus, the Danish is hard, so many words I feel like I'm already falling back even though I' ve only attended 1 session of each. Today my History EXOOOOO class was canceled and tomorrow I have a long day till 7PM (from 8AM-7PM) and yesterday I had classes from 8AM-8:50PM I ended up home at around 10:30PM.

I'm starting to show signs of depression, it's weird for me. I've had depression before but, I never thought I would get again and defiantly not over something as pity as this. But, my doctor is warning me about it, but it's sort of a winter depression though in a totally different manner. I talked to her about it and what might be the causes but, in the end it's all rooted in, here. As in where I am. Denmark. I just can't adjust to the idea of being here, not anymore. For me it's just not home. I might have had hard times in Thailand, whenever which ever I go there, of course there would be its problems but, that's what it is. But, Denmark just isn't a part of me, as I thought, yes I may be 50% Danish, but, I can't embrace that anymore it's like it got killed. 

Not literally, of course it can't be killed, since it's a part of my being, my flesh and DNA but, as much as it is apart of me; just as much I hate it. I've had identity crisis for some years now so I guess being in the country of my home being, Thailand, it caused a riot within me seeing how it wouldn't last, not for as long as I wanted. My doctor says it is a uncommon thing for her to hear about and she can't relate to it.

I don't expect any to do so. It's just how I am feeling being a mixed race of 2 vividly different cultures and people living in them.

I was going to blog about my August Beauty haul (<- link to the YT video), but, as I feel and am right now it just seems like it won't be that possible to do. I did make a video (vlog-ish) of it, where I'm more of a blinded deer and not really sure what I'm saying, derping and even doing with the beauty products.

I'll update soon, as soon as I can. Wait for me okay?

Thanks for reading<3


  1. -hug- c: cheer up dacky! i'll always be here to cheer you up too :P. ANONYMOUS. uscared.

  2. Feel better hun! Depression is a constant struggle, keep fighting !! I believe in you. :) Keep that head up and I hope things will be better for you soon!

    1. Thank you dear! I'm working on it now, trying to build some courage up to put up an entry about the things and everything but, still very wavy..