Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It's so cold!!

Well I wanted to make a blog post before I was going to leave Thailand but, it had been so hectic and I felt like I had no time, even when I tried it was too late at night and I felt too tired to even do it at all. I thought about doing it in-between my transit/transfer flight from Kiev, Ukraine to Denmark (Copenhagen) since they were so fucking nice to have canceled my flight and first have me departure at 22:20 instead of 12:20 .. and then of course let me add that that flight got delayed till 22:45 for boarding. minor important but, still: one of the passengers had a blackout but, it looked like a stroke it scared me a lot.. 

Been here for just 3 days and I feel like I'm gaining weight rapidly .. but, that might have been the family that hosted me on Falster (don't ask lol, so far) mainly have a diet of white bread and carbs+sugar+chocolate .. I hate it sadly, but what-t dfjgdfkl am I to say no. I know I can just say no but, how rude would it be since they came all the way from Falster at 1AM at night to come pick me up to find out that my flight had been delayed, drive me back as well and then house me for additionally another 1½ day, feeding me and giving me a place to sleep - and shower. I shall not be a picky person.. in this case. Enough of my weirdness. lol, NEVER 

Sadly, I broke my external harddrive, the usb outlet plug thingy IN the harddrive have been knocked out of its place and now I cannot use it (which also means I cannot synv the songs on my iPod anymore.. so sad) fuck. Another thing I managed to break without touching it tho' would be my camera now it just all of a sudden wont do anything like, only turn ON and then, blank TT TT So 100% in miserable despair it's horrible! My harddrive has MY LIFE - seriously, it has documented footage/items eversince even pre-2008 O_O and then my entire year here in Thailand as well.. Not to mention the importance of retrieving its memory since it has all of my last moments with my friends all of us together, my friends doing "goodbye" videos for me with them talking to the camera as if it was me.. it aches like a fry pan to the face! I only got to see it once before my camera went suicidal..

1 more horrible thing, now that I have gotten my ass back to Jylland to my mothers place I have to go through allllllll of the effing paper work shit .. with bank, education, more bank, future, blah blah blah, omg. Go away stupid people let's just get this over with, with a sense of reason!

Till next time.. now that I have no camera I can't give you pictures Q3Q

Friday, May 18, 2012

Family Farewell Visit

So this weekend I'm going to Pattaya to have a last visit to my cousins. 

A lot of troubles have been forced down my throat this past week and I'm glad that by going to my "cousins" house it'll get solved by;

  1. I will get my MasterCard fucking about time!!
  2. My Danish SimCard for my phone will be available so I will be able to be contacted as soon as I get off the airplane in Denmark on the 27th (Of May).
  3. I will get 100% privacy and silence to sleep. omg .. lovely
It's really weird. I have this weird feeling, not just one but, many and it turns into various thoughts and I'm just not comfortable with the thought of having to restart a'new another place, for the first time (with my ups and downs of course) I really did want to keep put in this life but, when the people start to disappear and the whole as a whole is fading and keeping a hold on the few ones that are left but, leaving as well it just in the end would turn into a sad empty space and I would only have an urge to go back to something I knew at least a little bit. but, you might not know how it feels unless you lived abroad or so but, maybe you know a similar thing and I hope you'll understand<3.


But, the files are so big that re-sizing the whole shit takes a war time, and I don't wanna fight with the Blogger uploading system at this point .. ugh.

Laters xoxo 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

I am still just a young person not mention my age is 18 but, just young lol and as like everyone just keep asking you out through your entire life
what do you want to do when you grow up
toWhat are you going to major in: with the additional,  what you do you want to do with your life? -

-          It’s always a freaking pain in the ass question to answer ヾ(。`ε´。)ノ"

1.       You might have a kinda plan on what you kinda want to follow but, in the end change it to something else – the awful many opportunities we have. Dammit
2.       From the age of 6 to 10, 12, 14, 16, 20, 22 you might feel like the dream job of yours just isn’t really fit for youanymore. We grow and therefore we might learn to love other things.
3.       Sometimes it just a bit embarrassing to let other people know what you really want to do. To the people around you, either it’s because or one or another thing.

I, myself have gone from various fantasies about slightly foolish or mere idiotic jobs or future dreams that have been changing drastically over the years, not just because of my own will but, also for the sake of my parents wanted me or did not want me to pursue such foolish dreams. But, what I want and will do in my life will probably change but, some things I’ve loved to do since I was a toddle, or a fish lol used to swim 24/7 from the age of 2 hahahaha.

So do I even have just a part time job now to make cash? 

NO   .. (・ェ・) hæhæhæhæhæhæhæ

But, it’s not like I don’t have anything, I do modeling. Which is so clichés from what my surroundings would whisper in the all circles, which for me makes it slightly awkward how to place this occupation: to others (`・д『+  
Yesterday I had a photo shoot, in a Japanese concept – Kimono and Yukata (´∪`) 

I had the Kimono rented since they are impossible to get in Bangkok, or just in Thailand. I had the Yukata purchased from my own pocket which have left a big burning hole auch! I had so much fun after losing up a little and had a more comfortable “relationship” with the photographer. I won’t get all of the pictures till the end of this week (burned on a CD, untouched, he doesn’t like to use Photoshop so it’s cool with me!) so I can’t show you everything, nor the more casual shoot I got with my friend Hiroko(*´∀`)(^^) though we had some photos together that ended up very sensual /coughcoughcough**
And I will f***ing punch blogger in the face, Picasa and all of them not to upload my pictures no matter what I do.

But, he (the photographer) said that I really could become something in the model industry and the fact I can talk many languages was even better, made me think even more about it. 

What do I really want to do with myself? 
Where could I see myself in the future? 

Went to a fortune teller in the beginning of May ..
He told me a lot of things about my past that you just wouldn
t just try your lucky guess, he told me Im wasnt going to work or live in my country, he asked me if I had been thinking about working abroad since I was already studying abroad and for a matter for a fact I had been going on with the thought of trying to work abroad for a year when I turn 20 and graduate a basic degree, either in Thailand or Japan, which just made it a bigger motivation to really go for it this time no interference from others cause this is something I want. But, work with what?
Before I wanted to pursue many things, but mainly performing arts, I love to dance but, a career in dancing is even more risky than acting even though it really burns like a passion of mine!
()  I feel like an idiot btw. 

I've decided to take it slow, do modeling as a sub-hobby/work but, try and figure out a sort of major to spend my last years of school to study (just thinking about not studying anymore gives me the chills ewwwwww) considering either a specific study like; cultural studies of Asia, of Korean/Thai/Japanese/ North East Asian studies of some kind or just linguistics.

Just trying to figure out a path to walk is so difficult (`´)ノ⌒┻━┻

Sunday, May 13, 2012

May in Tears

May in pictures
Last moments with them all. Misato, Tomoki, Minami, Haruka&Kizuku

Actually I haven’t spend much time doing anything productive. I have not gotten enough sleep, I have been crying non-stop for 10 days and just had – having – a minor break from it now but, tomorrow is the last time I’ll see my friend Ayaha.. she’ll leave for England to see Misato in London and come back to Thailand

In June. Ehem, so it’ll be goodbye.. 

Pretty much goodbyes, tears, laughs, smiles in our last hangouts together drawing closer to the end where I, myself have to leave and: right now I don’t know what to feel or do, like, what am I suppose to feel, I’m leaving a life behind I’ve been working hard on. All on my own, with help from friends that doesn’t even live here or have any relations to Thai-life whatsoever, it’s all just like a short novel, too short with a too open ending and you can’t predict it’s “continued story”. /le heavy artistic sigh.

Random OTWEEK ?
– I’ll never get proper blogging done, uhhh you bloody New Year’s Resolutions are a bugger!

Sunday 6th of May

Anyway, this Saturday (12/05/12) I had a day out with Ayaha and we went to Central World.
I was blessed, literally, to see the Oishi Cosplay Idol convention, which I had attended once before. In 2008 June with my Dad, when he was still alive. Super lucky and 100% just by accident that we were able to see it, so sad we couldn't stay longer (also that there wasn’t any K-On! Cosplayers, /sigh) Made me remember my cosplay days and miss dressing up like that. I stumbled out in normal clothes and for some reason people asked if they could take my picture as well, weird

 Additional to weird just clearing a fact - I have mixed colored eyes, which isn't always super noticeable if you just glance on my face quickly lol but - apparently people thought they were circle lenses!!  Σ( ̄皿 ̄;;  wat dat duccccccck.

Mixed, I kid you not foolish humans
I moved apartment for a little while before I move to On Nut area
Misato gave me her bags she thought she didn't need, they are bangin'(!) why throw em away?

Oh and I dyed my hair black
Till next time! I bid you a good-bu-bye~

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I actually can't put words onto a title, to create a simple noun with a meaning, a feeling of thousands other meanings, but I will say I carry it with a heavy heart. Half a smile and tears on my face. Even though I look happy at my memories with everyone it's still the parting that hurts the most.

You know?

I'll just show you my precious memories.
yes being very emotional at the moment, I'm crying as I am typing this sentence! IM A HUMAN WITH FEELINGS OK 

This is just pictures you can take your time to look 
or just close the tab after reading this I love them anyways. 
April, the last run - At Sakura House

"Drinking w/ the Japanese" - Phrom Phong Soi 49. April

Our Korean - HAHAHAHA He's 26

Danish Dinner with my people! - Nana

Peggy's Birthday - After Party in the Lobby

May. & so the countdown starts

Our group picture ♡

My roomie Haruka♡


Precious Yumi-chan♡

My mom Minami♡

Beloved Misato ♡


Kizuku♡The Funny guy

My hostress Ayumi♡

Lovely Ayaha♡

I miss you!♡