Journal: 28/06/11 – Tuesday

28/06/11 – Tuesday

So I decided to make a somewhat thing like something similar to a journal or maybe a diary, but nevertheless I feel like I have to keep a track of mind, place and time. As well as keeping up with my English grammar skills, hahaha, OTL – oh well.

But, I wanted to keep a little.. sanity in this feeling of being alone and not be able to consult to anything online or talking to anyone that actually understand me, or what I’m going though, and what I want.

To start off, this is my 5^th day in Thailand, still trying hard to settle in and all, decorating my apartment is going really slow and such I don’t know completely to do it so, like; I have a lot of posters and sticky things I wanna hang up but, like right now my aunts are living here with me, and for starters, they can’t speak English. They no nothing regarding English, and speak Isaan Thai, which makes things just a little more difficult, seeing how this is.. Bangkok. Oh, and also, they actually don’t know their way around in Bangkok as well. AT ALL. Heck I know how to get to Paragon and they don’t. I know how to take the sky train, they don’t. The list is short but, they know NOTHING e_e

-          Frustrating I tell you all.

It’s late, like 11:20 PM (Now writing this exact sentence) and it’s not that I’m not sleepy but, I feel a sleep at 4PM and woke up at 6:45PM, so not that tired, yet.

I now got a fridge, 2 fans, I dunno if the rice cooker is actually mine, but got that too and a few basic things like, bowls for dish wash and clothes, shampoo and body wash, deodorant and such + a water –google proper spelling-  ~ Hurray.

I’ve taken a lot of photos lately but, I have no idea how to like upload them to my fb, which is like the only place I can upload all at the freaking same time, ugh ugh ugh. But, I’ve promised, I should like send friend requests to my teachers too, they wanna know what’s going on, THEY TOLD ME SO, OK.

Emotionally.. I’m very frustrated, mainly due to my aunts, like being in a apartment with them most of the day not really knowing what to say, or at least how to respond back to them, when I understand most of what they say or try I can’t, ugh, tell them anything properly. Heck they only understand yes and no. DGskfhashjdkajshdhasdhahfhjsdhaskjdh- ufg. Makes me wanna throw up.

Speaking of throwing up, all the girls here, so are PRETTY.

Like skinny, petite (not the French dress size lol), cute, pretty, perfect, beautiful, slim, thin, healthy looking hair, smooth skin, overall so appealing! IT FUCKING HURTS. I even cried myself to sleep yesterday night, after having a conversation about ‘it’ with my mother, finally she’s useful but, kept saying things that made me cry more, oh how parents like to kick you when you’re down, my case more like drowning. HA seeing them all the time is just .. hard. Really.. hard.

Like there we’re these 3 cute students, Thammasat students, hell yeah! At the pier with us and like they and my aunts began talking about me and all, where I was from, my mother, that I was going to study Thai at Thammasat and alllllllllllll ksjdhfkjaskjdf that, and how they thought I was pretty and like, no, they had so much better skin and hair, slimmer legs, and I could like poke my eyes out. I was like 5 times bigger than them! I wanted to cry so hard on the ferry going away, they were so polite and cute, and they thought I was the pretty one! Like, no! No no no! They had thigh gaps.. and like.. super slim calf’s, slim arms.

I want that.

Hahhh .. – Take some deep breaths.

I’ll stop for now, right now I feel like I should be up for a little longer.

I actually binge’d without knowing it.

My aunt bought this hot chocolate thingy I used to drink when I was just real tiny and like, there is two brands of hot chocolate I LOVED love back then; Ovaltime and Milo and like Milo is the ‘healthy’ edition, without sugar! And .. Ovaltime.. is not, it’s filled with sugar! First time getting real sugar again! NOOOOOOOOOO – Dieting went so smooth right now! Even though I eat like too little in the way of I should munch on something or my metabolism will be of no use and I’ll just bloat and be fat. Me no gusta, ok. Me and thigh gap have  a date this year and I won’t miss it!!

And I want pretty good looking skin like all the others here too so.. body lotion and bb cream, anyone? LOL.

There’s so many things I wanna write right now but, I’ll wait, more days to come and like, my registration is first on the 15^th July.. still lots of time, OTL NOT.

-Night.