Reflecting back on 2013

Hello there!
I thought I would take the time to look back on what I’ve learned, experienced and achieved over the past 12 months of 2013, so here it goes!

Honestly I think this is one of the best years I’ve had. I’ll definitely say I’m not the most positive person, based on a past me I was a hardcore slut-in, anti-social and at least VERY negative. I can really look back and feel really silly just by the thought of all the things I was throwing away, my health for them being one of the important ones, I was really just a silly confused girl when I was younger. A bit too bad that I was so negative to enjoy all the good and positive things my life, that were still offered me even though I had the worst of the worst times of my life until now.

I managed to overcome something that literally had been eating me for years, ruining myself and most chances of having a regular social life with my friends; without being paranoid to spill the secret. And that’s sorely to my boyfriend, he made me realize that I can overcome it if I truly wanted it, for someone or for yourself – I choose him over the thing eating me as hard as it was to let go he helped me and I am forever grateful for him saving me from it.

2013 have meant Love, love have come into my life. Never been this happy before finding someone that loves me regardless of my past or what I’ve done, I’ve never met someone like him in my life and I never want him to leave.. So I want to thank you 2013, for putting the most amazing guy into my life.

Guess I could say since I’ve tried to look more positively on my life, I’ve become more bold and I suppose that’s a good thing in my case, finally stop being a push-over and “too-nice” towards people taking advantage of me. In the terms of like, “I deserve to be happy too” kinda feel, I do want it and I am trying to earn it, working for it every day so I can be happy and make everyone else I care about happy if I can. It’s not that bad to want something that’s good for you, no?

Other than that, I’ve taken a lot of chances, accepted change and sacrificed tons of things to be where I am now, even if it isn’t ideal for most, I am to gladly repeat 2013 with all it’s bad and horrible sides along with the happiness I’ve been obtained as well as the love I’ve been given. So being spontaneous can be added to life qualities now I guess, haha.  

I think I’ll put body image in another post instead because that’s going to be looong one, I’ll spill all my secrets in that one, so I guess look forward to it? Hahaha.

I would say that pretty much sums it up, 2013 started out freakishly bad, who the hell have their storage room set on fire by kids on the 2^nd day of the new year. Sigh. Not just that but a lot of things uptil my 19^th birthday (the first 3 months of 2013) was terrible. Utter horror, I start cringing just thinking about it -_- ..

I’ll leave it at this, not as long as it could have been!

Uncalled Hiatus

Hii, I’m really sorry my blog have been collecting dust for the past few months, it wasn’t my intention. And it’s not that I’ve been (doing absolutely nothing u.u) nothing at all..I’ve been some things while waiting for paperworks, visas and such to work out and I will tell ya; freaken boring af.

Actually I don't wanna call it 'hiatus' more in the likes of "I lost my SD card so I can't make videos or take good pictures.. and I lost it over a month ago" of a blogpost. So there you have it, I just happened to lose my SD card for my Canon while I was in Vietnam Airport (Hanoi) for a 1day1night trip. I don't know exactly how I lost it, but it's gone that's for sure. So nothing bad happened to me during my boyfriend's and I little adventure, all good and all is well :DD

Hence no good quality camera I've been documenting life on Instagram basically just using my phone (like normal people .____. didn't realize this until now).

While waiting and all, my boyfriend and I really are just being silly, hugging and kissing saying stupid stuff and being all lovely-dovely and such, we tend to end up like so;

• 1 Angry Boyfriend
• 1 Sad Haku sitting outside on the balcony feeling like a bad person for making boyfriend angry.

.. yeah I might be pretty pathetic lol, but it’s not like we actually fight, sometimes I just get really sad and cry for ruining his life by taking him with me etc, you know? It’s a lot of guilt knowing I’ve taken everything he had away from him and not having anything to offer in return after all of this.. So I tend to cry, making him upset cause he feels like it’s his fault. Think all in one we keep feeling like we both aren’t good enough..sigh, I do indeed not feel like I deserve such a sweet and loving guy like him and I don’t have anything to offer him ._. Talk about no self-esteem lol

But after all, it’s all those things that made us open up so badly I feel like I literally know everything about him now, and I’ve spilled every little secret I’ve ever kept about myself and my upbringing (“childhood”) it was pretty bad, all he does is feel sorry for me lol t( – 7 – ) bitch

I can fairly say I've never felt so connected to another human being before in my life, letting a person know absolutely everything about me; bad more than good. It makes me so happy, even after telling him the darkest things about me he still loves me; “I can see you’ve changed, I would still have loved you even back then” HE IS SUCH A CHEESE.

Though.. I honestly feel like he’s the one, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with >~< I know it sounds super unrealistic and “heck you’re both too young to know sh*t” not mention like a movie that just couldn’t happen irl, but. I DON’T CARE (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡 ┻ truelovebitches ┻

..I just want to spend the rest of my life with him okay  ╥﹏╥）

I'll just end this mindless ramble with a time line of the only group pictures we have (cause he doesn't like to get his picture taken U.U stupid) From the 1st to most recent C: