Well it's been a while since last post, hasn't it?
Lots of things have build up just after the last post, to summarize in shortness about something I want to say~
First I made this blog, to make a journal over my diet. One out of many.
Then it just went with getting complains I couldn't tell anybody out, which was good!
Also writing about my goals felt good, and everytime I would waver I could always turn to my blog and think "There's one at least, just one person out there who's read this, she/he knows what I'm doing, or trying" Even though I can't say I'm letting the person down, I don't want to let myself down and give a bad impression on the reader, I'm just happy I got at least one reader<3
I didn't celebrate Christmas, nor New Years.. not really.. I felt so sad saying that to my roommates when they asked, since they of course had a blast with their friends and family, but I'm happy for them<3
Also my birthday was yesterday, the only thing different about the day would be that people who never talk to me, actually congratulated me, which I guess - was good? .. Heeh, I got a presents from my now ex-roomie, we don't even talk much anymore, feels like everyone is really just slipping away from me, but that's where a fresh start might be good?
I've finally found a place at school with big enough mirrors so I can practice dance, since it doesn't seem like the so called dance room we're gotten at school is ever going to get the freaking mirrors. It saddens me, but nothing I can do about it.
I've moved into the new dorm house! It's like a hotel, the beds are so soft, and everything is new! We got our own bathroom INSIDE OF OUR ROOM. It's freaking awesome, though the water is too hot, and it stops after 10 secs... and we can't adjust it to a warmth we like ourselves.. sadly.
I've gotten a PowerHop, a workout hula hop ring from my mother, I know it kinda says what she wishes to do with it.. It bugs me, but she does call me fat, so seeing she's trying to do something about it well.. yeah it's our relationship then!
I've found the perfect college! And I might be attending it as well! Per semester it's only 15,000 baht! In Danish krone's it's around 3500-5000, so it's not much! And I already have for 1 semester myself~ Gotta keep saving, working and selling!
Also I'm going to Thailand for vacation on the 27th-28th of June<3
Did I mention that the college is in Thailand, Bangkok? Hopefully I'll get in!
..Bad news. Why is there always bad news? ugh..
I'm behind with my years project.. I can't seem to be able to make it in time.. It's so important but, it's a project we have been giving ONLY to work in our FREETIME we aren't allowed to do it in class or free period, due to all the exams homework we are starting to get it's not possible to work much on the project, I'm scared and really just disappointed in myself, seriously T__T
My friend couldn't come and take pictures for my project as in concept photo's.. So I'm even more behind now.. fml.
My room here at home are too small to practice dance! QAQ And not only that! My mom have forbidden me to move our "big" mirror down to the floor so I can see atleast a little of what I'm doing.. aish! D:
Since exams preparation is taking up so much of my time I don't have time to review on the Korean I've learned.. nor to practice more, or even start working on my Thai! Aish..
I've gained weight on my face, gotten MALE arm muscles.. and well bigger calf muscles.. being working out too much huh? Yeah maybe.. in Tae kwon do we do too much boxer focused workout so my muscles have become bigger.. I don't lose weight or slim down, I'm just becoming more buff and getting a bigger face. I hate it!
We have musical next month, so the auditions are in next week, again a day we wont have time for the year's project! ARGH.
Is kinda falling back into a track of bulimic state again.. it's so wrong , I know! I KNOW! But,.. first time I did it in this week.. I felt, like .. good about it, like it wasn't wrong and more .. right to do than diet ._. and since diet doesn't help really.. I dunno what to do! Since I looked back on old pics JUST FROM LAST YEAR, I had such a nice waist.. and thing pale arms.. I miss that.. and I've become obsessed with ulzzangs (From Korea/Around the globe) I've start an even more extreme goal to myself.. And I know it's wrong, and everything takes TIME. But, my mind wont let things take time.. since I'm a stress person (so my teacher calls me..) if don't see results by a week, I go extreme.. I hate myself so much for thinking like that! QAQ.
There's other stuff too, but don't want to drown the blog in negatives and bad stuff..
Thanks for reading! I know it was plain, but next I'll update about my project, how it went and picture during the thing! - Bye~