Journal: Monday 04/07/2011

I’m a little scared, I kinda don’t wanna go outside, and like just stay here watch FT Island videos and all kind of things, I don’t wanna go out all alone, no nothing and go to the university and be all lost when going on my way back, so scared.. But I have to go, it’s important I get the letter today, and before like they get the day off after around lunch or something so, ugh ugh. And I’ve been up since 8AM and like, it’s 9:54AM now and I should get going.. going to do some relaxation here at home and like decorate my room! I was supposed to do it yesterday but, got home at 9:21PM and all, did workout, Pilates lol, and wrote in my journal(s), and all kinds of stuff and suddenly it was 1AM .. And OMG SOMEONE CAME AND KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AT 2AM OMFG I WAS SHOCKED LIKE: GO AWAY REPEATEDLY skdjfsfjlasfaj – So scared in some way, and I like after 10-15 mins went to the door and just use the peak hole to see if there was anyone there wasn’t but, heck I was a little like, Hmmm maybe it was a ghost or something.. – At that point that would have been really .. creepy if it was.

But, hopefully it was just the wrong door. HOPEFULLY.

It’s 10AM now, I should really get going .. But, I look funny. Like I look like a sports fanatic or something maybe I should change pants. BUT TO WHAT. Ugh, bye for now.

I WAS AWESOME, well almost I was really scared in the beginning and like I kept taking deep breathes because I was scared and really really nervous, but it went fine! Took me like in total from leaving the comp at 10AM an hour to leave, get over the river and go to the uni, get the papers, go back and take the right ferry back, and walk to the .. webcafe. Lol I didn’t think they were opened by that hour like 11AM (+) but, they had and so.. I went for 80 mins there, so yeah yeah. Shouldn’t but did, wont go tomorrow. I promise. HAHA.

So today I’ll decorate, study some Thai, lol need more notebooks now.. ugh. Do some workout and chill, I need to get up early tomorrow because I’m going to the embassy, oh, nervous again e_e

I’m going over to my friend, or it is the plan I’m going to talk to my uncle about it tomorrow, but he and my cousin better let me go! – In the weekend for a sleepover/ visit at my friend Aom’s place, we live kinda far away from each other like 2 hours QwQ, but she works at Siam (or near) and I know how to get to there! KEKEKE. Or kinda.

And she said she’ll take me to Korean town~ Omo! <3 Can’t wait, and like I CAN USE HER WIFI FREELY. OMG HEAVEN – And her place has a pool, lsjfksjfdk, she promised well swim and such – AT NIGHT MUHAHAHHAA HEAVEN WITH EVERYTHING! And she promised to feed me salad, omg she’s like a dream friend and all, and she’s a bad shopper like me as well, and a big saver! SAVING MONEY LIKE ME MUHAHAHA I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. It’s really amazing meeting people you bond with SO WELL online, like in real life, it’s like… so unnatural and, indescribable. I was at a loss of words I just kept jumping and smiling like crazy being overly happy and shit. OMFG. She even ended up paying for the food, I felt bad, but I couldn’t chip in since both of us only had like – 1000baht bills .w.’’ otl. I’ll pay next time! IVE PROMISED MYSELF. Lol

I can’t wait, my friend James is going to come too as well like on the 6^th, happy happy happy~ He promised he’ll take me to the movies, SO HE HAS TOO – Since he’s only going to be here for a week, bloody loser ugh >_< lol, he has studies in China to take care of, but, he is Thai yeah.

So yeah, have an accident where I’ve forgotten to drink enough water today, compared to what I normally live off we all know drinking the amount of water like a normal person – JUST ISN’T ENOUGH. But, yeah I’m really badly dehydrated and sipping water as much as I can, since there actually not so much water left.. like only 4 bottles, for my body it’s really not enough lol. The water automate down at the entrance of the apartment complex, is like epic’ly enough empty. GREAT. So I think I’ll boil a lot of water, let it cool of and pour it into the giant container I have to pick up the water from the automate and when it’s all cool tomorrow I’ll pour it into the massive loads of water bottles empty ;A; and put them in the fridge~

NEED MAH WATER.

I’m really beat and tired so I’m so not up for work out, so yeah. I’m doing anything today/tonight.. and going to bed soon as well, after the water thing is done, I’ll un hug the kettle and let it cool off for tomorrow, pour it in, and put it in the fridge, then it’ll be ready when the other bottles are gone!

Lol, sometimes I forget the simplest things, omg.

Got my body lotion yesterday, and like, woah I feel so freaking soft! ITS GOOD STUFF. Or maybe my skin just absorbs it better in the moisture here and heat? HAHA, I have no idea. I think I’ll measure my hair tomorrow, and like see how long it has grown by .. November? I dunno just want some things to keep track off, my cousin is coming back soon, I have this feeling I don’t want her too, I like being alone and have more freedom to do things. AND WHAT I FEEL LIKE. If I wanna NOT EAT BECAUSE IM NOT HUNGRY – I wont get forced to eat, and so on. The list this time, is endless.

Going to practice dance tomorrow, kinda excited and then again, I wanna go to the embassy faster, than that, but it’s been postponed to Wednesday instead, it’s fine, I don’t mind. Haha.

SURVIVED ON JUST 26 BAHT TODAY – I feel so awesome. It’s like 10 times lower than my actual budget for a day! GAHAHA, but gotta shop tomorrow, coffee and fruits and such, need more watermelon and apples and such.. Don’t wanna use money though. HAHA. So annoying body, why you need food, why I can’t I eat when it’s something I wish to do, instead of pleasing you e_e

But, yeah gotta dash. Getting more and more tired.. and my hair isn’t dry yet either, dammit.

Night~

-         

- End, Monday 04/07/2011; 7:39PM 

Journal: Sunday 03/07/2011

Sunday 03/07/2011

So I haven’t been writing for past some days now because like.. haven’t done anything SERIUOUSLY while being with my aunts, been really frustrating with them. So hard living with people you can’t properly talk with you know! – I guess you can imagine..

So yesterday they went home and like, omg, can’t imagine how I felt, not to be mean or anything but, really, I felt so free I have no idea really, I was just so happy, I could sing, I could hear music, I could watch things on my computer and just.. like. BE ME. AND TALK ENGLISH I’m so tired of people scolding me everytime I did, like I know you want to teach me Thai but, at least let the real teachers do their thing and like just understand me and like have me to understand what the fuck you’re saying to me! – Which I actually do I just can’t answer properly. UGH FUCK YOU, now I’m getting mad at them and I shouldn’t they just want to help and shit.. since it is dangerous here and all, I am aware of that, life isn’t a freaking ballet on roses, I’m not stupid fucking .. arhg nevermind. I’ll chill.

Now I’m watching The Appa I like the most and I’m almost at the last episode of what I have on my computer in general. And like I’m dying from Hongki’s cuteness and just general goofy self. Really. Just come and ask me to be your girlfriend already I know you would love to have me. LOL JK JK JK /shoot.

I’m tired and I’ll go and cuddle with my bed sheet and stuff and sleep. Have to go and pick up my visa letter tomorrow at my University and try to find my way home. Or just figure out the right ferry ride back.. ugh. Goodnight, I’ll see if I can bare writing tomorrow I think I’ll be worn out from all the tenseness I’ll feel not knowing how to get back and like helplessly figure it out.. /sob

End – 1:21AM Sunday.

Journal: 29/06/2011 – Wednesday

29/06/2011 – Wednesday

It’s 11:18AM, woke up like .. half an hour ago, it’s hard adjusting to the time actually, knowing I’m a 100% morning person and a person to barely have more than 5-6 hours a sleep a’day. So this is defiantly different, lol – OTL. I’m feeling slightly bloated and like, .. as “you” maybe would know I’ve been used to drinking certain type of slimming herbal tea, a normal brand in Thailand, a form for laxative tea so I always had to go the bathroom often. Now I just pee, and like I’ve gone days before actually doing more it amazes me, is that how a normal body really should like react? O_O Aish, I don’t know and I’m not sure either, might be because I’m not really eating? Or maybe I’m eating too ‘hard’ things .. I have no idea, been drinking that stuff for so long that I’ve forgotten everything about that system hahahaha.

But, I might start drinking that again.. seems like I could need that hahaha. If not erm, later? KA

Today nothing is really planned to happen, only that I have to go to the like webcafe – again. Ugh omg, I already promised myself not to make it a habit since I need to distance myself from it, it’s actually not as hard as It sounds.. sure I’m lonely, and miss a lot of things and the list can be endless but, still – it’s not hard. Not that it’s not but, still I MANAGE OK.

I still really wanna start and make this apartment more like, my own – Really bad, but I hate how they judge so much of what I like, they made fun of me when I wanted to buy wigs and cosplay and shit like that back 3 years ago and now they keep teasing me about it, also as I told my mother hates Korea and Japan, mainly I’m the one at fault for that, lol.. But, actually my only English speaking Uncle, “hates” Korea as well.. ugh. But, he’s fine with me being into it, loving the culture and music and all, he’s happy with that, but he still hates Koreans.. He has been there before, he doesn’t like their attitude and think they’re rude and all ._. I don’t think that is the case, all the time. I know by not experience since I only have one Korean friend like IRL, but she’s adopted so she’s been raised in Denmark and shit by Danish folks, I know Korean better than her ROFL HAHAHA  watching a lot of different shows like Star King and Oh My School, that they can be very rude to foreign people because they, don’t seem to get why they speak English to them in Korea and all, lol I get that hahah.

-But he likes Japan, and Japanese people, OTL ROFL. Muahhahaha, so epic.

Ugh, they keep asking if I’m hungry o_e I’ll tell them if I am, or not. And I dunno it’s like my stomach is in some sort of shock state or something, I don’t feel hungry at all, na da. Really, or maybe I just can’t tell the difference between hunger and like, not hunger. xD I have no idea, but I don’t feel that hungry but, I know I should eat due to my metabolism, it’s so bad ;A; REALLY. /sob sob sob.

Gimme some Green Tea you foolish humans, gahahahahaa. Seriously though, I could use some, lol. Missing it already ;~~~;

I’ll write later, byebye~ Part 1 end, 11:47AM

Part 2 – 8:35PM Wednesday the 29^th.

Today really have been.. boring. Or I dunno it’s been so chill I have no idea, I’ve cleaned my laptop so like I have over 20% more space than before, heck that's a lot on my laptop! Yet again am I drinking Ovaltime.. the hot chocolate with sugar.. I dunno, I feel like I have to drink something warm but, only have this, and ugh! DON'T WANNA ;A; I wanna lose weight not gain >< hate it hate it hate, hate etttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

There isn’t much to tell, I still haven’t gotten a notification mail from my uni so I dunno about my visa papers yet, and I like need them soon T__T REAL SOON..

Checked my mail on my phone doesn’t seem like anything really happens, like friend vise as well, ugh, I feel the love you know? Lol, nevermind, nothing ever really happens unless I do something myself.

So going to write a bunch of stuff down I need to buy, have my mother call tomorrow and then we’ll, the aunts and I, will go shopping after those things, like just simple apartment supplies ~ like; cups in the bathroom to hold my toothbrush and all that so it won’t get disgusting, some hair brushes and hair pins  and stuff like that, maybe even some bathroom stuff and private things like I dunno, oranges and low carb fruit, a scale and a food weight, hahaha. Would like that.

Some speakers for my music would be awesome.. but, everything like that can wait like, if I get into Uni next year I’ll defiantly buy it! If not.. I’ll just buy it in Denmark. Omg lol, I just remembered a funny thing, after my uncle and I decided to drive back to my place after being at Racharatburi Bridge and having awesome tea, yummy my green tea was just- ksdjfjslsdkd, sadly my camera ran out of power so didn’t get a picture of it e_e

Oh oh oh! I’ve like updated on various different stories of mine, I’m super surprised I’ve like.. been able to - thinking about how many I actually have.. Might be because I got so much time, but it’s hard writing a lot in the heat, my laptop is like dying just being in Denmark so like, HAVE TO BUY A NOTEBOOK COOLER omg, I seriously need one.

Need to have air con on when using my laptop without the danger of it suddenly just shutting down due to heat. Ugh, stupid money, things might be ‘cheap’ here but, when you don’t have a job to rely on you can’t just ramble about with money! Ugh, my uncle doesn’t get that..

Been watching a lot of Thai drama today, lol some of them doesn’t make any sense, not just because I don’t understand like most of it, but – some of the plot lines .. sucks, really bad xD And also the quality of the drama’s really differs maybe just a tad too much, like you get the feeling they just shouldn’t even have filmed the darm thing TT^TT – Nevermind lol, things like that exists.

Hmm.. I feel kinda lonely, have I said that? I got no one really to talk too and all.. and like.. When I was out eating dinner with my uncle like .. Monday, we got hot steam pot buffet – I’ll just say right away I’m not fit for things like that AT ALL, but lol he wanted to eat it and all so it was fine, ate mostly sushi kimbap and fish, and a little bit of chicken, it was quiet good, though I kinda got SERIUOSLY annoyed by my uncle trying to keep feeding me and like I was about to throw up due to all the heavy food. UGH

But, yeah feeling a bit tired actually and like I wanna update on at least one more thing, still need the Hana Kimi one! GRRRRR I WANNA UPDATE THAT ONE

Byebye. Night~

End 9:00PM

Journal: 28/06/11 – Tuesday

28/06/11 – Tuesday

So I decided to make a somewhat thing like something similar to a journal or maybe a diary, but nevertheless I feel like I have to keep a track of mind, place and time. As well as keeping up with my English grammar skills, hahaha, OTL – oh well.

But, I wanted to keep a little.. sanity in this feeling of being alone and not be able to consult to anything online or talking to anyone that actually understand me, or what I’m going though, and what I want.

To start off, this is my 5^th day in Thailand, still trying hard to settle in and all, decorating my apartment is going really slow and such I don’t know completely to do it so, like; I have a lot of posters and sticky things I wanna hang up but, like right now my aunts are living here with me, and for starters, they can’t speak English. They no nothing regarding English, and speak Isaan Thai, which makes things just a little more difficult, seeing how this is.. Bangkok. Oh, and also, they actually don’t know their way around in Bangkok as well. AT ALL. Heck I know how to get to Paragon and they don’t. I know how to take the sky train, they don’t. The list is short but, they know NOTHING e_e

-          Frustrating I tell you all.

It’s late, like 11:20 PM (Now writing this exact sentence) and it’s not that I’m not sleepy but, I feel a sleep at 4PM and woke up at 6:45PM, so not that tired, yet.

I now got a fridge, 2 fans, I dunno if the rice cooker is actually mine, but got that too and a few basic things like, bowls for dish wash and clothes, shampoo and body wash, deodorant and such + a water –google proper spelling-  ~ Hurray.

I’ve taken a lot of photos lately but, I have no idea how to like upload them to my fb, which is like the only place I can upload all at the freaking same time, ugh ugh ugh. But, I’ve promised, I should like send friend requests to my teachers too, they wanna know what’s going on, THEY TOLD ME SO, OK.

Emotionally.. I’m very frustrated, mainly due to my aunts, like being in a apartment with them most of the day not really knowing what to say, or at least how to respond back to them, when I understand most of what they say or try I can’t, ugh, tell them anything properly. Heck they only understand yes and no. DGskfhashjdkajshdhasdhahfhjsdhaskjdh- ufg. Makes me wanna throw up.

Speaking of throwing up, all the girls here, so are PRETTY.

Like skinny, petite (not the French dress size lol), cute, pretty, perfect, beautiful, slim, thin, healthy looking hair, smooth skin, overall so appealing! IT FUCKING HURTS. I even cried myself to sleep yesterday night, after having a conversation about ‘it’ with my mother, finally she’s useful but, kept saying things that made me cry more, oh how parents like to kick you when you’re down, my case more like drowning. HA seeing them all the time is just .. hard. Really.. hard.

Like there we’re these 3 cute students, Thammasat students, hell yeah! At the pier with us and like they and my aunts began talking about me and all, where I was from, my mother, that I was going to study Thai at Thammasat and alllllllllllll ksjdhfkjaskjdf that, and how they thought I was pretty and like, no, they had so much better skin and hair, slimmer legs, and I could like poke my eyes out. I was like 5 times bigger than them! I wanted to cry so hard on the ferry going away, they were so polite and cute, and they thought I was the pretty one! Like, no! No no no! They had thigh gaps.. and like.. super slim calf’s, slim arms.

I want that.

Hahhh .. – Take some deep breaths.

I’ll stop for now, right now I feel like I should be up for a little longer.

I actually binge’d without knowing it.

My aunt bought this hot chocolate thingy I used to drink when I was just real tiny and like, there is two brands of hot chocolate I LOVED love back then; Ovaltime and Milo and like Milo is the ‘healthy’ edition, without sugar! And .. Ovaltime.. is not, it’s filled with sugar! First time getting real sugar again! NOOOOOOOOOO – Dieting went so smooth right now! Even though I eat like too little in the way of I should munch on something or my metabolism will be of no use and I’ll just bloat and be fat. Me no gusta, ok. Me and thigh gap have  a date this year and I won’t miss it!!

And I want pretty good looking skin like all the others here too so.. body lotion and bb cream, anyone? LOL.

There’s so many things I wanna write right now but, I’ll wait, more days to come and like, my registration is first on the 15^th July.. still lots of time, OTL NOT.

-Night.

Ello my lovelies - Greeting from Thailand

It's hot. It's awesome.



- I'm so jet lagged I keep feeling dizzy and too sick to write because I haven't been resting yet. HA

Shopping Saturday

Or I had to go shopping. 

My mom just thought that I had to get an travel/flight outfit for when I leave Denmark here on Wednesday, so yes we left early and bought some things on sale in H&M, I really normally hate mostly everything in Danish stores - it's just not me.

It all came down to 430 kr for 2 outfits and a pair of "normal" shoes. Pretty fine, still too much in my head xD by normal I mean high heel less, it's so weird e_e

Sun screen ON SPRAY<3 & those "no heel" shoes C: 

1 set of "baggy" pants, extreme thin fabric perfect to hide my thighs&the hot weather there!&a long top it's actually really green.. and it's difficult to wear, my bra shows e_e

My favorite pants! And they're from the kids department, I can actually fit it.. lets forget about the stretching fabric shall we? OTL and they are just as comfy as the pair before, just smaller and have my "bag" to it between the thighs!<3

A random weird cut top my mom wanted me to have.. I DA NA.

But yeah! Kinda sums up what I have been doing .. and is done with, now I need to do drawing commissions and the Harry Potter workout challenge! 

But, first - a nap. Bye lovelies~

I am feeling lazy, yes~~ I should pack my stuff ;~~;