Uncalled Hiatus

Hii, I’m really sorry my blog have been collecting dust for the past few months, it wasn’t my intention. And it’s not that I’ve been (doing absolutely nothing u.u) nothing at all..I’ve been some things while waiting for paperworks, visas and such to work out and I will tell ya; freaken boring af.

Actually I don't wanna call it 'hiatus' more in the likes of "I lost my SD card so I can't make videos or take good pictures.. and I lost it over a month ago" of a blogpost. So there you have it, I just happened to lose my SD card for my Canon while I was in Vietnam Airport (Hanoi) for a 1day1night trip. I don't know exactly how I lost it, but it's gone that's for sure. So nothing bad happened to me during my boyfriend's and I little adventure, all good and all is well :DD

Hence no good quality camera I've been documenting life on Instagram basically just using my phone (like normal people .____. didn't realize this until now).

While waiting and all, my boyfriend and I really are just being silly, hugging and kissing saying stupid stuff and being all lovely-dovely and such, we tend to end up like so;

• 1 Angry Boyfriend
• 1 Sad Haku sitting outside on the balcony feeling like a bad person for making boyfriend angry.

.. yeah I might be pretty pathetic lol, but it’s not like we actually fight, sometimes I just get really sad and cry for ruining his life by taking him with me etc, you know? It’s a lot of guilt knowing I’ve taken everything he had away from him and not having anything to offer in return after all of this.. So I tend to cry, making him upset cause he feels like it’s his fault. Think all in one we keep feeling like we both aren’t good enough..sigh, I do indeed not feel like I deserve such a sweet and loving guy like him and I don’t have anything to offer him ._. Talk about no self-esteem lol

But after all, it’s all those things that made us open up so badly I feel like I literally know everything about him now, and I’ve spilled every little secret I’ve ever kept about myself and my upbringing (“childhood”) it was pretty bad, all he does is feel sorry for me lol t( – 7 – ) bitch

I can fairly say I've never felt so connected to another human being before in my life, letting a person know absolutely everything about me; bad more than good. It makes me so happy, even after telling him the darkest things about me he still loves me; “I can see you’ve changed, I would still have loved you even back then” HE IS SUCH A CHEESE.

Though.. I honestly feel like he’s the one, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with >~< I know it sounds super unrealistic and “heck you’re both too young to know sh*t” not mention like a movie that just couldn’t happen irl, but. I DON’T CARE (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡 ┻ truelovebitches ┻

..I just want to spend the rest of my life with him okay  ╥﹏╥）

I'll just end this mindless ramble with a time line of the only group pictures we have (cause he doesn't like to get his picture taken U.U stupid) From the 1st to most recent C:

We Went Abroad Pt. II

 Daytime view from our hotel back from the beginning of our adventure to Thailand, found an interesting setting on my camera づ￣ ³￣)づ  imo, the lighting in the bedroom during the lovely killer of a sun was badass, never before been feeling so flawless  (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀) 

We Went Abroad Pt. I ★彡

Let me hit ya'll up with an update shall we? (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ After arriving at the airport we got our "hotel" (the dreadful one from the previous post, read the rant review of Nest Boutique Resort) fetch us in a shuttle bus for free.

Prince Palace Hotel - Review(s)

First of all, Nest Boutique Resort was the biggest scam shit I've ever tried to experience at a "hotel/resort" ever. Definitely not a place I would ever recommend to anyone if it's by the pictures on Agoda, the pictures are pure photoshop, angles and some aren't even taken at the 'resort' at all! As much as I seem to bend with Thailand this was just surprising, probably not to most, but I've never been scammed so bad at a hotel facility before, regardless of country. (ಠ_____ಠ)

The Departure

At Kastrup Airport, in Copenhagen. Hanging around Joe & the Juice to be able to charge up on phone battery and count the long hours before our flight to Thailand. With a transit flight in Norway we had to spend 16+ hours at the Airport in Denmark before we could get our ass moving, we did nothing but watch movies and chill on Tinychat got a bit grumpy at the end lol. ('◉◞⊖◟◉` )

Moving

This is going to be hard for me to type this out, mainly because I know some of my good friends (in real life) also reads my blog and this is something I haven't been able to talk about: before now.

As some might have realized I'm in a LDR, this long distance relationship really made a change to my life, not just emotionally and "aww, you're in love" but, literally changed my life. E and I did some pretty stupid stuff, not considering how things would work out in the end and how it turned out was our last solution for his safety but also for us to be together we went so far as to move in together

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

I am still just a young person not mention my age is 18 but, just young lol and as like everyone just keep asking you out through your entire life
what do you want to do when you grow up toWhat are you going to major in: with the additional,  what you do you want to do with your life? - (*ﾟ∀ﾟ)

-          It’s always a freaking pain in the ass question to answer ヾ(｡`ε´｡)ﾉ"

Reasons: ★

1.       You might have a kinda plan on what you kinda want to follow but, in the end change it to something else – the awful many opportunities we have. Dammit

2.       From the age of 6 to 10, 12, 14, 16, 20, 22 you might feel like the dream job of yours just isn’t really fit for youanymore. We grow and therefore we might learn to love other things.

3.       Sometimes it just a bit embarrassing to let other people know what you really want to do. To the people around you, either it’s because or one or another thing.

I, myself have gone from various fantasies about slightly foolish or mere idiotic jobs or future dreams that have been changing drastically over the years, not just because of my own will but, also for the sake of my parents wanted me or did not want me to pursue such foolish dreams. But, what I want and will do in my life will probably change but, some things I’ve loved to do since I was a toddle, or a fish lol used to swim 24/7 from the age of 2 hahahaha.

So do I even have just a part time job now to make cash? 

NO   .. (･ｪ･) hæhæhæhæhæhæhæ

But, it’s not like I don’t have anything, I do modeling. Which is so clichés from what my surroundings would whisper in the all circles, which for me makes it slightly awkward how to place this occupation: to others (`･д『+』  

 

Yesterday I had a photo shoot, in a Japanese concept – Kimono and Yukata ♪(´∪`●) 

I had the Kimono rented since they are impossible to get in Bangkok, or just in Thailand. I had the Yukata purchased from my own pocket which have left a big burning hole auch! I had so much fun after losing up a little and had a more comfortable “relationship” with the photographer. I won’t get all of the pictures till the end of this week (burned on a CD, untouched, he doesn’t like to use Photoshop so it’s cool with me!) so I can’t show you everything, nor the more casual shoot I got with my friend Hiroko(*´∀`)人(^∀^) though we had some photos together that ended up very sensual /coughcoughcough**

And I will f***ing punch blogger in the face, Picasa and all of them not to upload my pictures no matter what I do.

But, he (the photographer) said that I really could become something in the model industry and the fact I can talk many languages was even better, made me think even more about it. 

What do I really want to do with myself? 

Where could I see myself in the future? 

Went to a fortune teller in the beginning of May ..

 
He told me a lot of things about my past that you just wouldn’t just try your lucky guess, he told me I’m wasn’t going to work or live in my country, he asked me if I had been thinking about working abroad since I was already studying abroad and for a matter for a fact I had been going on with the thought of trying to work abroad for a year when I turn 20 and graduate a basic degree, either in Thailand or Japan, which just made it a bigger motivation to really go for it this time no interference from others cause this is something I want. But, work with what?

Before I wanted to pursue many things, but mainly performing arts, I love to dance but, a career in dancing is even more risky than acting even though it really burns like a passion of mine!
(●癶∀癶●)  I feel like an idiot btw. 

I've decided to take it slow, do modeling as a sub-hobby/work but, try and figure out a sort of major to spend my last years of school to study (just thinking about not studying anymore gives me the chills ewwwwww) considering either a specific study like; cultural studies of Asia, of Korean/Thai/Japanese/ North East Asian studies of some kind or just linguistics.

Just trying to figure out a path to walk is so difficult (ﾉ`□´)ﾉ⌒┻━┻

I actually can't put words onto a title, to create a simple noun with a meaning, a feeling of thousands other meanings, but I will say I carry it with a heavy heart. Half a smile and tears on my face. Even though I look happy at my memories with everyone it's still the parting that hurts the most.

You know?

I'll just show you my precious memories.
yes being very emotional at the moment, I'm crying as I am typing this sentence! IM A HUMAN WITH FEELINGS OK 

This is just pictures you can take your time to look 

or just close the tab after reading this I love them anyways. 

April, the last run - At Sakura House

"Drinking w/ the Japanese" - Phrom Phong Soi 49. April

Our Korean - HAHAHAHA He's 26

Danish Dinner with my people! - Nana

Peggy's Birthday - After Party in the Lobby

May. & so the countdown starts

Our group picture ♡

My roomie Haruka♡

♡ EDOYA

Precious Yumi-chan♡

My mom Minami♡

Beloved Misato ♡

PHOTOBOOM Makoto♡

Kizuku♡The Funny guy

My hostress Ayumi♡

Lovely Ayaha♡

I miss you!♡

So Songkran is just dawning!

Songkran* is the "Thai" New Year!
- Like Korean and Chinese Lunar New Year
Thailand have their own that's placed in April!
Which is very convenient since it's the hottest month of the year.
Lowest tempreture is 29-30% I shall kid you not.

And I need to prepare, even though I might not seem like the type to play around with water like this

- in the sun + wet-skin tight water dripping sticky clothes + wet lion beach hair etc ..
I'm a pretty sadistic evil player when it comes to such "battle"-ish sort of games.

(And who doesn't like to see hot guys in wet t-shirts, come on, the eye candy /le drools)

I should probably post in order, like KoreanMW FIRST and then Songkran .. but, .. Songkran is here now, for another 3-4 days, so like, it's going to be on time for once with a blog entry! ♡

Not much to say about it now but, I'll keep up with the updates/get on with the last few posts I need to throw out till my bag is empty for the "PAST" events and focus on more -in the present- also future ones.

(Like I have a photoshoot 'pro one' in just a week -------------------- omgggggg need to diet and workout like monster nows!)

Have a nice week, Happy Easter! (&Songkran!)

Bring out those hotbad boys and their water-or-whatever!

ღ How's March? ღ

◍ Hmmmmmmm, honestly? 

It's very hard to explain and still I'm not sure about how personal I should take my blog. I used to think that I could make it a personal blog but, as time went by, it just seemed like an uncertain thing about that "personal space" after a few (2-3) classmates followed me on my blog. 

I've had some issues about sharing my web life to the people "around me" : By around we all know those people in your class that just "think" that you're like

'' WEIRDO → → →  (｡△｡ ) . . . ''

Or so it was for me .. ha..ha 

Anyhow!

The past week have been "slow" - ish. Went with my Media class on a small really effing short! to Channel 3:

The biggest Entertainment Company in Thailand

Awesome awesome  ┐(´△`)┌  ~

Us waiting to enter the studio building! HOT VERY HOT THAT DAY!

(●´□`) Ahhhhhh ~♥

Ayaha-chan♥ (&me/cough)

Tivoli spejl billed! lol, jk (Danish)

And no one can tell we were talking about KPOPヽ(〇･u･)人(･u ･〇)ﾉ

Yen & Tom (yes, the old guy is a student as well) looking very producer-ish!

Very blurry picture of me - Taken by Kenta - I LOOK THE BEST DURING BLURR 555

The 5PM news clip with us! //taken at Amarin Mansion Lobby ゝ∀･)

I have no idea ... I was checking the pose and he was adjusting the lens ...

Then me and Kenta went Cheese Cake House hunting but, after 2 hours of searching we gave up, had dinner and went to Terminal21 and I had a nice "photoshoot" (of derp'ness) with Nichkhun from 2PM!

 vﾟ  ﾛﾟ)☆

Cool pose ftw.

I would so be perfect for a 2PM MV, charming am I not  (σ `∀´)σ

Feel like my following posts are going to be rather informative and just getting the whole catching up rushing feeling to them .__. I don't like that D: